An Engineer And a Manager, a Typical Conversation

A man in a hot air balloon realized he was lost. He reduced altitude and spotted a woman below. He descended a bit more and shouted, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am." The woman below replied, "You're in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You're between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude."

"You must be an engineer," said the balloonist. "I am," replied the woman, "How did you know?"

"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is, technically correct, but I've no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help at all. If anything, you've delayed my trip." The woman below responded, "You must be a Management graduate"

"I am," replied the balloonist, "but how did you know?"

"Well," said the woman, "you don't know where you are or where you're going. You have risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise which you've no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems. The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, it's my fault."

Self Appraisal, A Prime Example

A little boy went into a drug store, reached for a soda carton and pulled it over to the telephone. He climbed onto the carton so that he could reach the buttons on the phone and proceeded to punch in seven digits. The store owner listened to the following conversation.

The boy said, "Lady, I want to cut your lawn".

The woman replied, "I already have someone to cut my lawn".

"Lady I will cut your lawn for half the price of the person who cuts your lawn now."

The woman responded that she was very satisfied with the person who was presently cutting her lawn. The little boy found more perseverance and offered,
"Lady, I'll even sweep your curb and your sidewalk, so on Sunday you will have the prettiest lawn in all of North Palm Beach,Florida."

Again the woman answered in the negative.

With a smile on his face, the little boy replaced the receiver. The druggist walked over to the boy and said,
"Son I like your attitude, I like that positive spirit. Son, I would like to offer you a job. "

The little boy replied, "No thanks, I was just checking on the job I already have."

What are you waiting for? lift that phone and ring up your manager...

Iyen Comment:Will it work in Corporate Word ?

Perfection, Be a Judge for Yourself

A British man once visited a temple under construction where he saw a sculptor making an idol of God. Suddenly he noticed a similar idol lying nearby. Surprised, he asked the sculptor, "Do you need two statues of the same idol?" "No," said the sculptor without looking up, "We need only one, but the first one got damaged at the last stage." The gentleman examined the idol and found no apparent damage. "Where is the damage?" he asked. "There is a scratch on the nose of the idol." said the sculptor, still busy with his work. "Where are you going to install the idol?"

The sculptor replied that it would be installed on a pillar twenty feet high. "If the idol is that far, who is going to know that there is a scratch on the nose?" the gentleman asked. The sculptor stopped his work, looked up at the gentleman, smiled and said, "I will know it."

Oracle - Java: Oracle Buys Sun Microsystems

Oracle Corporation (NASDAQ: ORCL) and Sun Microsystems (NASDAQ: JAVA) announced last week they have entered into a definitive agreement under which Oracle will acquire Sun common stock for $9.50 per share in cash. The transaction is valued at approximately $7.4 billion, or $5.6 billion net of Sun's cash and debt. "We expect this acquisition to be accretive to Oracle's earnings by at least 15 cents on a non-GAAP basis in the first full year after closing. We estimate that the acquired business will contribute over $1.5 billion to Oracle's non-GAAP operating profit in the first year, increasing to over $2 billion in the second year. This would make the Sun acquisition more profitable in per share contribution in the first year than we had planned for the acquisitions of BEA, PeopleSoft and Siebel combined," said Oracle President Safra Catz.

The Board of Directors of Sun Microsystems has unanimously approved the transaction. It is anticipated to close this summer, subject to Sun stockholder approval, certain regulatory approvals and customary closing conditions

--Iyen

“Think Before You Print” – Paper-Print Facts

Paper Facts 1 ton of paper = 400 reams = 200,000 sheets 1 tree makes 16.67 reams of paper or 8,333 sheets  Printing Facts Average employee prints 1 page per day 500 pages = 1 ream 17 reams = 1 tree 85 staff use paper produced by 1 tree every day Company with 1000 staff team consumes 282 trees a year.   --Iyen

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NEED IT ! A Success Mantra

If you need something badly enough,
that you go and fight for it,
you work day and night for it,
you give up your time, your peace,
and your sleep for it,
All that you dream and scheme is about it and
life seems useless and worthless without it.
if you would be glad to sweat for it, fret for it, and plan for it,
and loose all your terror of opposition for it.
If you go after the thing that you want with
all your faith, hope, confidence, strength, sagacity,
And strong pertinacity, and if neither cold,
poverty, famine, Gaul, pain
and sickness of body can keep you away from the thing that you want.
If dogged and grimed you besiege and beset it and finally with the help of god you will achieve the thing that you desire.